Amanda (Chip's assistant) steps in...

I'm Amanda -- Chip's assistant at MacGregor Literary. I've been handling the over-the-transom queries sent to the office for the past few months. It's been enlightening. Below are a few strange yet horrifically common trends I'm seeing with queries. They'll make you laugh, they'll make you cry, but hopefully, they'll make you check over your queries to see whether you're among the guilty. So, without further ado, I present:

Three Things Currently Annoying Amanda

1)    People who don't do their homework. Within a week's span, I saw about five different queries from self-professed psychics who wanted to take the next step in their career by publishing a book. Now, I've taken great pains to resist the urge to chastise them for wasting my time when they could just as easily have consulted their special powers and foreseen my inevitable rejection.

But I'm too nice. Furthermore, their failure to use their powers to their advantage isn't the core problem. The core of the problem is this: Authors seeking an agent don't do their research. A bit of poking around at macgregorliterary.com would have thrown up obvious red flags and told authors such as this that Chip typically represents Christian authors. He's probably not interested in anything that has to do with special powers.

2)    Relentless submitters. It's one thing if an author truly polishes their work and queries it again. It's another if they're on query number 77, having ignored the first rejection that came after query number 06 (yes, this has happened).

Another pet peeve are the authors who get antsy and resubmit a pending submition. My only piece of advice to these people is this: Don't get offended if this results in your work getting rejected twice. You submitted it twice, after all. It's only fair.

3)    Friends of the Archangel Gabriel. Believe it or not, I've seen queries from more than one person, claiming that the Archangel Gabriel visited them, told them super-sensitive information, and now it's up to me to see to the fruition of God's will in the form of a 90,000 work of nonfiction.

That's right. The fulfillment of God's will is dependent upon me. Me. (And you thought your job was stressful . . .)

Now, if only I could make them believe that my rejection is a sign from God as well . . .

Comments

[Joanne Mueller]

Thanks, Amanda. It's good to hear from you and learn what you see come across your desk. I would like to see you post again in the future!

[AimeeLS]

Hi Amanda, great to hear from you!

My superpowers tell me you'll soon receive submission #78, along with a proposal for Great Moments in Zen Mastery.

I know! I know! Don't thank me: Gabriel made a house call.

[Lea Schizas]

Amanda, during my online Muse Conference I hosted pitch sessions with quite a few publishers. A deadline was imposed when these 100 word pitches were to be handed in to me with the warning to check the publishers' guidelines. Well, wouldn't you know it. Some writers read 'publisher' and figured it's okay to send them the manuscript. Problem was these were romance publishers and didn't accept children's picture books.

If writers don't take time to really research an agent and publisher, check the books they publish, read the guidelines and adhere to them, they only succeed in upping their chances for a rejection. And it's a shame because their manuscript possibly may fit in with another agent or publisher if only they took the time to read the guidelines and target the right one.

Lea Schizas
http://penperfectassociates.blogspot.com/

[Ane Mulligan]

Amanda, you made my day! I love to laugh in the morning. Thanks!

[Deb Cushman]

Great advice. I'm guessing that authors who submit willy nilly without bothering to do a little research and read the blog probably won't see this post. They'll be making the same mistakes over and over, leaving annoyed assistants in their wake!

[Jodie]

Amanda, Great post! Since it seems God's will rests on your shoulders, I now know who to blame when I don't like what I see on the nightly news. Good info to know. :-)

[James]

Hi Amanda, nice post, do you inform the query writer that you have in fact rec'd the query? Or is there only a response once you make a determimnation whethe to accept or reject?

[Amanda]

James,

Good question.

I don't respond to the writer until I've reviewed their query. It's just easier and more streamlined that way. Cut out a lot of the back and forth.

Amanda