Is there ANYTHING more boring than the opening ceremonies at the Winter Olympics? (Maybe... watching a Paulie Shore movie? Listening to European techno music while running on a treadmill?) I mean, hundreds of people in parkas and silly hats, trudging aimlessly across the screen, while the announcer says, "There's Yakov Hickenlooper, the great Flaming Mogul Wingding from Albania." This goes on for HOURS. My wife was watching. I wanted to set my eyeballs on fire. And it's listed under "sporting events." Yeesh. I went and read a book, and thus missed everyone from "Croatia" to "Zanzibar." I'm sure I missed a great cultural event. Can't wait for the curling finals. (A note: It was 72 degrees inside the stadium. Those parkas were for show.)

Comments

[AimeeLS]

Snippy, snippy! Someone woke up on the wrong side of their sporran this morning! :)

[Henya]

I guess you could look at the necessary groundwork of good brotherly will. The parkas? Well...It's fashion week, isn't it?

Enjoyed your soft, and grumpy side

[Rhonda McKnight]

Oh Chip, I'm with your wife. I watched the entire thing and I cheered for all the countries who had one athlete. The countries I'd never heard of of course, since the former Soviet Union broke up into a bunch of tiny pieces. I even DVRed it. Okay, so there's no way I'm going to watch it again. I have a book to write, but the idea that I could watch it again will exist until my son pushes delete.

[Stevie Rey]

Rofl! And here comes the triumphant Swedish snowboarder Vorden Smorgasboardin'.

[Theresa Lode]

I laughed aloud reading this. Oh, the acidic wit!

With your description, I could almost hear those infernal cowbells ringing....oh, wait...that comes later...

[Brandt Dodson]

Amen!
My wife watched them, too, while I wrote, read some more of Stephen King's Licey's Story,and pulled lint from the dryer vent. (Even the latter was more exciting than the opening ceremonies.)

[Leah Morgan]

I like to see what everyone is wearing. I watch for deep reasons such as this. I especially loved the wooly white. "Aww look at her boots, and her dress has fur at the bottom!" These are the inspirational thoughts skipping across my mind. 72? Really? You mean they're sweating under the wooly white? You ruined my show.

[David Thomas]

I guess I'm not cultured enough for Opening Ceremonies, but can you imagine what it's like for the people watching in-person who don't have Bob Costas explaining everything as it happens?

[Shawn Smucker]

Ha! My wife and are trying to give up tv for a year (see my blog . . . shameless plug), so it's good to hear we aren't missing anything. Although I am a closet fan of curling.

[Robbie Iobst]

I didn't watch all of it, cause it honestly can get tedious, but the parts I did watch were entertaining. The best moment for me, by far, was when KD Lang sang. She has the pipes of a heavenly organ. I don't know if she knows Jesus or not, but her voice definitely reminds me of the power of God.

[Scoti Domeij]

Way too funny! Love your humor. This morning on "The View," which discusses the most exciting events of the day (Snark! Snark!), Baba Wawa said it was the most watched Winter Olympics Opening Ceremony EVER. And I was grieving having missed it.

[Crystal Laine Miller]

I laughed so hard here. This may go down as the funniest post I've ever read. I especially loved, "I wanted to set my eyeballs on fire." That is going into my quote collection.

I needed that today.

[Marla Taviano]

My husband and I were at a conference during the Opening Ceremony. I asked our 9yo if she had watched it with the babysitter. "I only made it to the C's," she said. "Or maybe it was the B's."

[Karen Humeniuk]

The appearance of team after team waving and smiling, while sweating in down overcoats wasn’t the only absurdity of the Olympics. The sight of bags of snow dangling from beneath helicopters because the geniuses in the IOC and VanIOC decided that it was, after all, the Vancouver Olympics, known for winter temperatures similar to those in Atlanta, and not the Whistler Olympics, even though Whistler is eminently, and imminently, prepared to host every outdoor winter event. But I digress. Sort of. Stubbornness is never a writer’s asset, but . . . when an excellent blog entry offers helpful information – I’m referring to the one about branding – and evinces insightful comments, yet no one asks the one question that begged an answer . . . then the question must still be asked. So, are you the sexiest literary agent? I certainly hope so, since it can be a pleasant facet of someone who sings a writer’s praises and helps her “get out of the damn Klondike!" Brand? Hmm. Does obscurity count?

[PatriciaW]

The closing ceremonies?

I'm with you.