Sex and Language in Religious Books?

Elizabeth asked this: "With the rules relaxing on language in many general market books, it seems the rules have also relaxed as far as portraying sexuality in Christian books. I know you don't just represent religious books, but can you tell if this is the trend? How much is too much? How much can you reveal in romantic scenes?"

When it comes to both language and sexualty, I think two questions must be kept in mind:

1. Who is your audience?

2. What is your message?

If you're writing a romance novel for a CBA audience, any sort of foul language or explicit sexual description is simply going to torpedo your book. The gatekeepers of CBA are largely middle-aged, white, ultra-conservative types. (That's NOT a criticism, mind you, that's a description.) So any sort of over-the-line language will get you bumped, if not banned. (I know of an example where a CBA house rejected a manuscript because the author referred to a character's "silk underwear." Really! Apparently Christianity is a cotton-only kingdom.) Using curse words or describing any sort of sexual activity is not going to work in CBA.

If you're writing for a more general audience (and I say that because I do a lot of Christian books, and some people sort of expect me to have religious overtones in a lot of the things I represent), I don't think readers expect religious behavior from unreligous people. You have more latitude because of your audience and the message you're trying to send. I'm assuming that, even with some rough language or descriptions of bodies/actions, you're still seeking some sort of redemptive message to your readership. (If you see me at a writer's conference this year, make sure to ask me about the British actor who survived cancer and his postmodern response to God. Very funny story that, if I told it here, would bring me grief and 300 "I'm shocked" emails.)

If you're writing for the general market (I hate the term "secular audience"), I think it comes back to you knowing your own voice and your calling as a writer. What are you comfortable saying and showing? What words are you comfortable using? The fact is, if you're not comfortable with a scene as you've created it, you should probably change the scene. I think an author needs to feel he or she is going to be at peace with what he or she wrote. I represent a couple authors who use some salty language at times, but I have no doubt of their belief in God, and they have no doubt what they're writing is what they're supposed to say. Some of this points us back to the question of "what constitutes a Christian book?" If you see the writings of Dorothy Sayers and Walker Percy and John Grisham and Flannery O'Connor as Christian books (and I do), then you probably agree with me that sometimes the message of a book overshadows the exact words that are used, though the story is made up of those words.

If you're a Christian writer, listen to this: A few years ago, I'd have quoted the apostle Paul: "Do not let any unwholesome words come out of your mouth, but only that which is helpful for building others up, that they may give grace to those who hear." I might have used that as an argument to never use a swear word in your stories. (And, to be completely honest, my wife would still suggest I use that as my measuring rod.) At 52, my take on that verse has changed a bit -- enough to recognize that, at times, Christ Himself used some pretty tough language when dealing with difficult issues. He didn't swear, but he was pretty blunt in his description of certain people and behaviors. And maybe some authors, in writing for a particular audience, will use words and descriptions I may not choose to use. But I'm less apt to be critical of them than I used to be. You see, I sometimes swear. (Stop the presses! There's news.) I make lousy choices. I don't always follow my own advice. So I'm a sinner (huge news to many of you, I’m sure), but my faith tells me I’m saved by grace. I'm also a writer. And my writing is a reflection of who I am -- still struggling with issues. Not parading my failures, but revealing myself through my writing, even if at times that means letting people see under the veneer of spirituality I sometimes put on. 

I REALLY want to be "better." I want to be nicer. I want to be stronger. Some days I make it. Most days, I fall short. If I'm telling a story about a day I make it (or my character makes it, through me), that's probably going to reflect a much nicer, stronger, better person than if I'm telling a story about a day I really screwed up. Who are YOU writing to? And what is the message YOU want to tell? Answering those two questions will resolve much of the struggle over what words you can use in the telling. 

If you can figure out WHO your audience is (who will buy the book) and WHAT your message is, then you're well on your way toward creating a book you can be comfortable with. I represent some books you might not be comfortable with, in terms of language or behaviors or beliefs -- but so what? We're not all going to agree on every point, and God doesn't seem to mind our having disagreements (isn't that why we have denominations?). What's important is that YOU feel confident and comfortable in the book you wrote -- that it adequately conveys the story you have to share. 

Comments

[Richard Mabry]

Chip, Thanks for honestly addressing this subject. Scary though the thought may be, I tend to agree with your assessment.

[Leigh Moore]

Thank you for this post. It's an issue I've been struggling with for some time as a "general market" writer born and raised (and again living) in the Bible belt. I do appreciate your insights. All the best,

[Livia Blackburne]

So I've had these hilarious (to me, I at least) struggles of conscience over certain situations where it would just make logical sense for my characters to be naked, but as a good Christian girl, I spent a good several days trying to figure how to have them as not naked as possible. Rather amusing in hindsight... And then if I ever write the sequel, I'll be writing the romance subplot, and there will be a whole new can of worms there.
I think my rule of thumb is I'll only write stuff as scandalous as the Bible. Basically that means most subject matter is pretty much okay, but the descriptions won't be too graphic. Helps that I write YA, so there's no pressure to write explicit scenes.

[Theresa Lode]

Once again, I so appreciate your candor and the reflection of grace I see in your heart. My journey has been similar to yours in that the issues that were once so black and white are mellowing into shades of gray. (20 years ago, that would have meant I was back sliding.)

I'm loving the freedom and joy I've found as grace has delivered me from the folly of cotton vs. polyester debates and other equally silly issues. (And trust me, I had many.) It all comes down to understand my loving Creator and hopefully....allowing his love to flow through me. As a writer, this is what I hope to do. Including when I bring criticism to the topics I write about.

Theresa (who sometimes swears and has really nasty thoughts about some people in Walmart too)

[Jessica]

This is such a tricky issue and I think this is one of the BEST posts I've ever read about it. Love the two questions. Thanks so much!

[Michael K. Reynolds]

God bless the CBA for being a bunch of fuddy duddies. As a Christian who once swore like a sailor, it's such a blessing that God washed my mouth out with soap (Chip a holy bar of Dove might finish the job for you).

There is nothing less imaginative than using the same 3-5 words of profanity over and over again in dialog and calling it art.

The best TV shows are being produced on stations like HBO, but I wait to watch them until they come on standard cable where they delete out scenes and clean up the language. Guess what. They're still brilliantly written with strong characters.

It takes a lot more creativity in our fallen world to demonstrate genuine love in characters, rather than taking the cheap route and subsituting it for lust.

With 95% of the sex presented on television and popular fiction depicting and glorifying adultery and pre-marital sex, it's so refreshing to know their are brave authors going against the grain.

I know. I know. Go ahead and pelt me with rotten fruit, but I think as Christian authors we need to stand together to keep from adding to the rubbish.

[Rosslyn Elliott]

Interesting thoughts, as usual! I will add this: I just sold a debut historical as first in a trilogy. In that manuscript, there are three words considered profane. That's a total of three, not three words each used a hundred times. There is also a depiction of voluntary sexual activity outside marriage, but it is not explicit and not a net positive for the persons involved.

Despite these infractions, a second CBA publishing house was also very interested in the series. CAVEAT: I have not yet received my first editorial memo. My authorial hijinks may yet disappear or be modified during edits. However, based on my experience, I think some good acquisitions editors look past the letter of the law to the spirit of the novel. If they see that a novel--even a romance--has a strong spiritual perspective and is well done EXCEPT for the horrible gaffe of the silk knickers, some will take it and just ask that you do a global replace of 'silk' with 'cotton'. This is OK except when Annabel's hair feels impossibly cottony under the hero's fingertips.

Of course, Chip has experience with ALL the houses, unlike me, and perhaps my story is more unusual than I suspect. Or maybe there is a teeny bit of hyperbole involved in the warning against EVEN ONE bad word? ;-)

[Cyndi Tefft]

I enjoyed this post tremendously. My book has a spiritual theme, but I didn't write it for the "Christian market". A reader commented that she was surprised to see (some) swear words in a work with a strong faith-based theme. I told her that I wanted to make my characters real. And it was what they would have said in those circumstances. When characters are real (and imperfect), we can relate to them. And the message can sink in because they aren't perfect, and neither are we!

[Debbie Lynne Costello]

(If you see me at a writer's conference this year, make sure to ask me about the British actor who survived cancer and his postmodern response to God.)

I hope I'm one of the first to see you this year at conference (not that you'll know me) because I'm betting by the tenth time you've told this story it'll be getting shorter and shorter. Let's see you have how many followers? And how many of those are going to conference? And how many of those did you stir their curiosity about the British actor? (Did you say if he was good looking? Cause that might influence if more women were to ask about it.) Hmmmm...Like I said I hope I catch you first!

[Edwina]

Fantastic and timely post! The antagonist in my current story needs to occasionally say a cuss word! He's not a Christian, he's meaner than a rattlesnake and he just doesn't go around saying "oh, rats." :)

I'll be at ACFW and definitely want to hear the story of the British actor!

[Teresa Lockhart]

I have just completed my first YA novel, and in learning more about market, I have noticed the language and content in many YA novels found in the general market exceed my comfort zone. I'm a veteran journalism (newspaper) teacher, and I tell my kids every year when they sign my yearbook to keep it clean because my mom still reads it. (She does.) I am by no means perfect, and I know how easy it is for unsavory language to slip. I really have to work at honing my writing so I don't feel as though I'm selling out and so that my teen characters still come across as being real. It's tricky.

[Caleb Griffin]

I'm writing my first novel and it has strong Christian themes because I'm a devout believer, but it isn't for the CBA market. I realized a long time ago that I do not resemble the typical CBA author and, rather than attempt to become more middle-age, white, or conservative, I'll write what the Lord put in my heart and expect great things.

The way I figure it, those Christian readers who have sequestered themselves from the lost and who appear to be wholly satisfied by the innocent romances and the "Amish" stories are outnumbered by those of us in the trenches who daily deal with the grit of life.

And those guys need something to read too.

[Sheila Deeth]

Thanks Chip. A great article in its own right, as well as an answer to the question.

[Ashley Weis]

love this chipperelli.

[Kimdkus]

Great post, Chip!! I write YA Christian fantasy for older teens, 14 and up, and one thing I always ask myself is do I want my best friend's 16 year old son to read this scene?? If the answer is NO! Then I change the scene. I have a scene where the young female character is kidnapped and almost raped by the bad guy (and no, he doesn't succeed and yes the main character guy rescues her.) and I went back and changed it to a 'softer' tone. Yes, it was an almost rape, but a bit 'softer' b/c I didn't want my friend's son to read that 'stuff'. She also suggested I do a focus group with her son and his teen friends to see what they want. I think this might be a good idea for any writer. We THINK we know what folks want, but do we really??? Or do we think we know?? I recently read a Christian romance novel that seemed really good but had sooooo many sexual undertones. And the next scene is the heroine worshiping Christ. ARG!!! I mean embarrassing undertones so even an old prude like me was blushing. I ended up tossing out the book and swore I'd never read another Christian romance novel ever!! And I haven't!! If I want to read about sex, I'll turn to the secular books!! And trust me, there's plenty out there. So no, I don't want to read about sex and cursing. I have to hear enough of that day by day througth work, TV ect. Yes, I know it's a part of life, but some of what is written in 'christian' books is worse than what's out there in the secular realm. Maybe I am a prude, but I know what I like!!!

[Stevie Rey]

If I ever do any fiction, Chip, it will most likely have some rough language. To me that's just life in the real world. Not that I want to glorify it, but I want my work to reflect reality. I wasn't born on a pew and raised in an ivory tower. I grew up in the grit and grime and blood and war that is this fallen world. I'm sorry if that's a little dark, maybe that's why I always wear black, but that's just been my experience and I'd wager a guess it's the experience of 99.9% of the earth's inhabitants. The fiction that I write will definitely point to Jesus, but it will also reflect a real, fallen, sinful world.

[Eva Everson]

It seems to me that you focused on the language issue, Chip, and not the "other one."

On a personal level, I work very hard to keep my language in check ... and anyone who knows me, knows this. My mother always said that cussing was an ignorant man's way of using the English language (because you cannot think of an intelligent way to say what you are trying to say...). I never, ever heard my parents use bad language (and my father was in law enforcement for crying out loud!). I'm not trying to say I'm a saint (in my life I've had a couple of words fly), but 99% of my life has been about NOT letting words fly. Controlling that monster organ called the tongue. Coincidentally, 99% of the people I hang with do not let those words fly. I'm simply not comfortable with it. I don't like it in movies, or TV, or music. Just. Not. Comfortable.

Sex, however, I'm comfortable with because ... I'm married!!! It's a part of my lifestyle. As it SHOULD BE (according to our word-virtuous Paul, at least) within marriage. Still, I'm not going to give you or anyone else the fine details of my marriage ... and I won't do it with my characters either.

When I was a young married woman (with kids) my grandmother and I were talking about her first husband (who died before she married my grandfather). She said, "Ohhhhh, that man could make me so hot..." and then she grinned and waved her hand before her face (as all good Southern women would do, having the vapors and all). That was it. That was all she said. My mind needed no further enhancement. I suddenly saw my 80+ year old grandmother as a vibrant young woman, full of desire for her husband, as she should have been. I didn't need the details.

In my latest work (This Fine Life), the marriage of Mariette and Thayne begins solely on desire and not wanting to sin. As they grow to love each other in their marriage, their intimate life continues to grow as well. They are, in the words of my grandmother, "hot" for each other. If I am a good writer (and I believe I am) I can write about sexual moments -- both godly and not -- with honesty but without tantalizing the reader. Sexual desire is simply a part of the human equation. How we respond it it ... there's the issue!

I believe the same goes for "language."

My thoughts ... for what they're worth.

Eva Marie Everson

[Brandt Dodson]

This topic came up during a panel I sat on at the Bouchercon (mystery fan conference) in Madison, Wisconsin a few years ago. I was asked how I could write a hard-boiled PI series and "not have the language". When I mentioned that neither Hammett or Chandler "had language", it wasn't long before others on the panel were in agreement and said they would no longer use "language" in their works either. It was quite impressive. However, in my humble opinion, fiction should illuminate truth, regardless of whether it is sold in the CBA or the ABA, and that truth must be potrayed realistically. The Bible talks about a 17 yr. old boy slaying a giant and then cutting off his head and carrying it back to camp. Further, the Bible tells stories of incest, rape, and murder. Still, do we need the blunt language or can we instill the necessary scenes and information in a better way? I think this is the question we're all asking.
I recently read an article about contemporary spy fiction and Helen MacInnes' name came up. The author was quick to point out that her writing was a realistic potrayal of the tenor of the times yet she always "wrote clean." The author of the article - a well known ABA writer - was impressed with MacInnes' ability to remain above the gutter while portraying the truth that dwells within it.
We can do the same whether we're writing for the CBA or the ABA.
David Morrell, creator of the Rambo series, is a stickler for clean language and said as much during the recent ThrillerFest. And, as Chip mentions above, he is not alone.

[Carol Benedict]

"I think an author needs to feel he or she is going to be at peace with what he or she wrote."

Thank you for this comment. It clarifies more than the language and intimacy issues for me. I've struggled with how to portray my faith through my writing without sounding too religious, and it can get stressful trying to write for a modern audience. From your description, the "CBA gatekeepers" are my target audience. :)

[Laura Droege]

I posted a question on my Facebook profile a while back: How do you feel when a Christian author has offensive material within their book, ie, sex and some instances of bad language? Would you continue reading? I made it clear that I was referring to a book with a general market audience, not a CBA one.

Most of my friends who responded were Christians; most said it depended on the context, the quality of the book, and the intentions of the author. (Was that author intending to glorify extramarital sex, for example.)

One lady said she wouldn't (Francine Rivers was too sexual for her, she said), but that she knew my heart and knew I wasn't trying to glorify unChristian behavior. Another woman sent me a LONG email, apparently concerned that I was "selling out" and trying to satisfy worldly standards, etc.

It was an interesting thread, to say the least.

[Angela Meuser]

I'm debating this topic right now. I use a certain naughty word in my current manuscript that makes the story authentic. And funny. My dad--a pastor--is giving me a bad time about my language. But he did laugh when he read it and said, "That's a great line."

[Daniel Darling]

Chip, a follow-up thought to this. I wonder sometimes if authors intentionally want to be edgy to make a point about how supposedly straight-laced they think Christians are.

[Jaime Wright Sundsmo]

Great post! There. It's that simple. Great post. :)