Chip MacGregor .com

What's reasonable to ask for in a book contract?

I had someone write and ask this: "What is reasonable and what is unreasonable to see in a publishing contract with a small-to-medium-sized house? I ask because I've just been offered a book contract that has this horrendous non-compete clause. The publisher is basically saying I can't do ANY OTHER BOOK until this book goes out of print. Can you give me some perspective? Also, is it reasonable for me to ask for more free books? And what should I ask for in terms of books and discounts?"

I love talking book contracts, so let me wander through several contractual ideas...

1. It's perfectly reasonable for a publisher to have a protected selling season on the book they are doing with you. (That doesn't mean you have to agree to it, but it's certainly a reasonable request.) Producing a book is a huge investment, and your publisher should have the ability to sell your book without fear that you'll soon do a similar book with someone else. It's also reasonable for them to say "you won't do a book that directly compete with this book." However, it is NOT reasonable to ask a writer to not ever write anything else on the topic, especially if you speak and write in a particular area (such as "parenting" or "healthy lifestyles" or "Amish vampires"). Negotiate a fair non-compete that protects the publisher, but also allows you to write to your audience.

2. A second idea that's reasonable: Lots of people talk about getting "more free books," but I think it's unreasonable to ask a publisher to give you a ton of free books if you're going to turn around and sell them, thereby becoming a competitor with your own publisher. What's reasonable is to ask for free books that you plan to use for marketing purposes, in order to attract interest in your book and help your publisher sell more copies. The fact is, if you're going to SELL your books on your website or at personal appearances, you need to negotiate a fair buy-back and purchase your copies.

3. By the same token, it's unreasonable for a publisher to extract money from authors for their own books. I don't understand why a publisher wants to make money off their own authors by selling them back their own books at a significant profit. So yes, it's perfectly reasonable to ask for a high discount on buy-backs.

4. This one won't be popular, but in my view it's unreasonable to insist that an author sign a document that says you are giving another person the rights to "technology now known or hereinafter invented." In my view, that's a sign of lawyers gone mad. Look, we're doing books. When publishers stop doing books and start doing... um...sneepdawdles, we'll create a new sneepdawdle contract. But for now, we're doing "book" contracts. Can you imagine an inventor selling his idea for a car that runs on water to General Motors, then giving them the authority to use it in any new, future ideas they might come up with? We sign a contract for a certain product, not for anything new that might be created later. I know all the publishers ask for this today, but I find it completely unreasonable. (And my attorney agrees, by the way.) I realize I'm tilting at windmills here -- you're going to see this, and the publishing house is not going to bend. But I keep wondering if it will hold up in court...

5. Look at your royalty payments carefully. Some publishers will insist that royalty payments are cut in half if they sell books above a certain discount (say...55%). I find that a strange argument -- if the discount is higher, aren't we all simply making less money? So why put that on the backs of the writers? They not keep the same structure, and everyone makes less? Of course, what you may not know is that some sales guys will tell accounts, "We can give you 55% off, because we have to pay the author less at that rate, meaning we're actually making more money." Is that fair to do? Well... it's business. The publishers are trying to maximize their income, so I guess they're doing their jobs. Just be aware of what you're agreeing to. (By the way, I also find that most sales guys will deny they ever do that... but they do. I didn't spend my entire life on the agenting side of this business.)

Again, a book contract should not be approached as a win/lost proposition, so not every point on a contract is worth fighting over. But there are certain things you need to educated yourself about, so you can at least negotiate a fair deal. We'll have more on book contracts in the coming days, so if you've got a contract question, send it along. 

 

What are some good resources for writers?

Dan wrote and said, "I hear you've taught a couple classes for colleges, and I know you do the occasional conference. For those of us who can't get to another state to hear you, what would be some resources you'd recommend for writers?"

One of the best things you can do for yourself as a writer is to attend a good writing conference. They have conferences all over the country, usually featuring experienced writers and publishing professionals. It's a great way to meet people, ask questions, and connect with others who are also trying to make it as writers. There's undoubtedly a GREAT conference happening somewhere close to you in the month, as the conference season kicks off (for example, I'm attending the Left Coast Crime conference in Sacramento in two weeks). You'll rarely regret investing in a good conference.

Another thing to consider is a critique group -- a chance to sit down with a small group of fellow writers and compare notes, critique each others' work, and talk books. It offers you perspective from others, and it gets you talking writing with people -- something many writers have discovered is hard to find. You can often connect to them online, and many local bookstores will help authors in the area come together in order to network and critique one another. A third resource is one of the online writing groups -- one helpful such gatherings is the Yahoo group "The Writers View," but there are numerous others. Most of these groups discuss writing and publishing, and many have a panel of experts to bring some wisdom to the discussion.

If you're already involved in some of those things, let me suggest a writing course at your local college. It can be a lot of fun to take a literature course or participate in a creative writing class, and the instructors can often give new insight into your work that can help move your craft to the next level. When I was in college, I got to take a class from Ursula Le Guin, one of America's foremost fantasy writers. It was a wonderful experience, and one you can't get just anywhere. Check to see who teaches college courses near you. Another idea is to take a look at the world of writing by subscribing to Writer's Digest Magazine or The Writer, and carefully checking out what's new in the "writing" section of BAM or Barnes & Noble. There are more new resources being created every few months, so if it's been a year since you looked at books about the craft, by all means check out the latest.

Two more thoughts for you... If you're a nonfiction author, the folks at www.bestsellingauthor.com have re-released their CD set, "Become a Bestselling Author: Lessons from an Anonymous Publishing Giant." This is like a master's level course in publishing -- a freelance writer interviews the president of a major publishing house, who gets into the mechanics of publishing, the psychology of editors, and the methods for creating a great proposal. They cover things like "landing a literary agent" and "generating free publicity" and "conducting great book interviews." It's a wonderful resource, but it's not cheap. I think the cost was about $300, but now that they've re-packaged it and are re-releasing it, they're selling for something like $149. Still spendy, but WELL worth the investment. (And no, I don't work for them.) Check it out.

If you're a novelist, by all means go to my friend Randy Ingermanson's site www.advancedfictionwriting.com. Randy gives away some great information (make sure to look at his free e-zine and his famous "snowflake" method), and also sells his Fiction 101 and Fiction 201 classes as downloads or on CD. All of his stuff is well done, and he's one of the few people out there who has something realistic to say about fiction writing and marketing. And Gina Holmes' "Novel Rocket" site has some of the best mix of interviews and insights into the writer's life. 

Of course, if you really want to move forward in your career, consider a writing career coach. I blogged about what Lisa Samson is doing last week -- her company, Luminary, offers manuscript guidance from one of America's great novelists... what more could you want? And, of course, by doing a bit of hunting online, you can discover a number of others who offer similar assistance. 

Hope this helps. What are the resources all you like to recommend?

 

Thursdays with Amanda: How to Write a Great Tweet

Amanda Luedeke is a literary agent with MacGregor Literary. She posts about growing your author platform every Thursday. You can follow her on Twitter @amandaluedeke or join her Facebook group to stay current with her wheelings and dealings as an agent.

To write well for Twitter, you really need to change your mindset. I’ve seen 100,000+ word novelists balk when it comes to Tweeting, and I’ve seen successful business types equally fail when they take the hard sell approach. Twitter isn’t a place for you to flaunt your knowledge of the English language or refine your author voice. It’s equally not a place where constantly telling people to buy your book or visit your website will work. Twitter takes a bit more finesse. A bit more thought. And a lot more of a marketing or sales-driven mindset.

Twitter restricts the number of characters used in each Tweet to 140. If you’re curious what that looks like, note this paragraph. Yep, 140.

It may seem like a lot to work with at first, but once you add any @ mentions or links or hashtags, it can get crowded fast. It’s this very crowdedness that hinders authors from being successful with their Tweets.

But the bottom line is if you can learn to write compelling, actionable copy for Twitter, you can write just about anything.

Just like any other social media channel, the basic rule to a great Twitter handle is to have a goal. Do you want to sell books? Generate interest in your website or blog? Position yourself as an expert on a topic? A clear goal will guide each and every Tweet, preventing you from flooding your readers with conflicting information. With a goal, you’ll be sure to attract the very readers that care about every single Tweet you throw at them. And that is where the Twitter magic happens.

But how do you construct compelling copy in 140 characters? I’m glad you asked.

 

The Three Components of a Great Tweet:  

1.      It has a GOAL  à Call to Action

The Tweet must either provide worthwhile information or ask the reader to DO something. For example, if you’re going to be speaking in the Chicago area, you could Tweet about it, encouraging Chicagoans to come out and see you. Or, you could ask readers to check out your speaking schedule (include a link) to see when you’ll be in their area. The ideal strategy would be to do both. Share your speaking schedule link when you’ve got your summer tour nailed down, and then Tweet about each city a day or so before you arrive.  

 

2.      It has a HOOK

The Tweet must grab the reader’s attention. Many Twitter users follow hundreds if not thousands of people…that’s a lot of competition. Get your Tweets to stand out by always ensuring they draw the reader in. Avoid lots of hard sell Tweets, such as Buy my book! This is where creativity is a must.

 

3.      It has LINKS and/or HASHTAGS

A great Tweet will direct your readers to places where they can get more information.

Linking to photos is a great way to connect with your readers through those less sales-related Tweets. For example: Thanks to everyone who came out to hear me speak at the #ChicagoPublicLibrary It was awesome! <link to photo of speaker with fans>

Linking to a website is a great way to provide extra information and a harder sell. For example: Thanks to everyone who came out tonight! Next up, Indianapolis <link to speaking schedule on website>

Twitter will automatically shorten your links to 20 characters, leaving you with 120 to work with.

Hashtags are also great in Tweets. They build credibility and will expand your reach. Hashtags look like this: #creativewriting #allIwantforChristmas . They are a hash sign, followed by a string of words or an acronym that uses no punctuation or spaces. You can create your own hashtags simply by Tweeting them. But you can also search on Twitter and other social media sites to find out what existing hashtags apply to your Tweets.

Readers use hashtags to find other Tweeters who are talking about topics they’re interested in. People who are interested in #ChicagoPublicLibrary will monitor the hashtag so that they can know and discover all there is about that particular topic.

Jumping on a trending hashtag will broaden your readership, because there are tons of people out there also talking about that specific hashtag.

 

So what does a great Tweet look like? They aren’t always grammatically pretty, and the limited character count oftentimes has you talking like a texting teenager. But it’s time to cast any word-related snobbiness aside. Great Tweets are ugly, yet effective. Here are some I put together:

Like Romeo & Juliet? LOVE #vampires? Check out my new book TWILIGHT <linkhere> #YAparanormal  - this Tweet works because it gets the reader answering “yes” to each of the preliminary questions. They’re already thinking “yes” when they come to the pitch. It’s a bit of a hard sell, but it works. Readers feel comfortable with hard sells that are well thought out.

What happens when a #serialkiller runs a hotel at the world fair? Read devil in the white city <linkhere> #nonfiction – this Tweet uses the book’s one-liner for a HOOK.

At B&N 2nite @ 7:30p in Rosemont. Get a #freebook when u upload a pic of us. Details <linkhere> #fiction #bookgiveaway  - this Tweet is a great example of using Twitter to promote. Plus, it will encourage additional buzz when readers accept the challenge and start uploading their pictures with the author. The pictures will reach their friends, thus generating more awareness for the author.

Thing to love #4: dress blues. Find 1000 more things to love <linkhere> #militarylife #militaryspouse  - this Tweet uses a teaser from the book to generate interest.

Does Tweeting seem more doable? Love to hear your thoughts on this topic!

 

Additional resources:

www.hootsuite.com

www.tweetdeck.com

www.topsy.com

Meet Shannon Potelicki

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

When I learned to write, I couldn’t stop. I became “The Weird Writer Girl.”

I see now that this nickname was a commentary on my tendency to spend recess writing stories instead of playing on the monkey bars. Back then? That name meant I was a superhero—saving the world one handwritten (in pink crayon) Barbie play at a time. To my little brothers, however, it meant I was a supervillain—holding them against their will to provide the voices for the boy dolls. Superhero or not, I decided that I was going to spend the rest of my life mastering the power of words.

With that resolve, I didn’t shock anyone when it came time to pick a college. I chose Taylor University’s acclaimed Professional Writing program. I graduated after earning the Jerry B. Jenkins Annual Writing Scholarship, having my byline published in a variety of magazines and newspapers, and completing an editorial internship with Focus's book publishing department.

I’ve continued to pursue a career as a writer since graduation. My projects have included ghostwriting, writing marketing and donor relations copy, and freelancing articles for online and print publications.

For the past several months, I’ve also been serving as Chip’s assistant—going through the slush pile, helping out with research, and handling other small projects. It’s been a pleasure to work with the MacGregor Literary agents, and (now that I’ve gotten the hang of things) they’ve asked me to join the team as their new International Rights Specialist.

In this new role, I’ll handle MacGregor Literary’s international deals and enable our authors to maximize their income potential. The agency has wanted to expand its involvement in the international market for awhile, and I’m excited to be giving leadership to this endeavor. As I get things going, I’ll continue to serve as Chip’s assistant and pursue my own writing projects. It’s a pretty cool gig for “The Weird Writer Girl”—I finally get to save the world with words!

I look forward to all of the possibilities this holds for MacGregor Literary—and I hope you do too. Thanks for welcoming me to the team.

—Shannon Potelicki

 

More on how an author negotiates a book contract...

We're continuing our thoughts on what to have in mind when facing a book contract negotiation.

4. Be Clear when Talking. One thing that will hurt you in a negotiation is to wander around your point. For example, if you know you don't want to grant dramatic rights to your novel, be clear about it. Problems often arise in a negotiation because of the things that aren't said -- an author wants a certain advance but won't admit it, or the writer wants to retain foreign rights and doesn't say so clearly. If you know what you want, be ready to say so clearly in a polite, organized, and clear manner. This is why it's important for you to have a plan and write it down before you begin talking, so when faced with a question, you can refer to your notes and remind yourself of what is important.

5. Learn to Listen. Kenneth Tynan once referred to the activities at the United Nations as "a dialogue for the deaf." One speaker gets up and harangues people with some information, then the next guy gets up, starts talking, and acts as though he heard nothing that was just said. You'll be amazed at how much better negotiations will go when you learn to be quiet and hear the other side occasionally. You'll discover you learn things about the publishing house when you listen. It will make you a better negotiator. And a bit of silence can help you focus in the midst of a discussion.

6. You Have Options. Keep in mind that you don't have to agree to a bad deal. You always have options -- even if the only option is to say no thanks, get up, and walk away (whether permanently or temporarily). This is a basic truth that people in negotiations sometimes forget. The fact is, you may not be able to come to an agreement, so it could all fall apart. If you have a plan for what you really need in a deal, you'll know what that threshold is. But remember that there's a give-and-take in negotiations -- the publisher will ask you to give them world rights, and perhaps you counter with granting foreign rights so long as you retain dramatic rights. Or the publisher is offering a small advance, and you counter with something a bit bigger, but offer them a reason why they should be able to pay a bit more. Keep track of what you get and what you give away -- it'll show both sides that this is a good-faith negotiation.

7. Everything is Negotiable. Everything. Not just the advance and royalties, but the grant of rights. Your book title. The page count. The due date. Author copies and buy-back rates. Revisions, acceptance policies, cover approvals, reversion rights, publication date, termination, and non-compete language. Everything is negotiable. You're not going to win every point. You're probably not going to get everything you want. But that's what a negotiation is -- a series of compromises, so that both sides feel they like the deal that's put into place.

Know what's important to you ahead of time, do some research so you know what's fair and workable, then negotiate in a spirit of cooperation. This will keep your negotiations from being those painful, knock-down/drag-out affairs that leave you with a bad relationship and too much brain damage.

I hope this helps you. Best of luck with your negotiation!

 

How do you negotiate a book contract?

Kevin wrote to say, "I'm about to negotiate my own book contract! What is important for me to know?"

If you're at the stage of negotiating your own publishing contract, congratulations. It means you've created a strong proposal, shopped it to publishing houses, and found an editor interested in your work. Those are huge hurdles, so you've already done well. Now what's going to happen is that the publisher is going to approach you with some details and numbers. Let me offer a handful of thoughts for you...

1. Have a Plan. A contract negotiation isn't just a bunch of random conversations, helping two people move things forward. It's one piece of a larger discussion about your book -- how both sides view its value, what it will pay, how it's going to be produced and marketed, etc. Therefore, do your homework before you go into the negotiation. You should have researched what the market is paying (so you get a fair deal, but you don't ask for the moon), you should know what rights you want to keep or give away, and you should have a familiarity with the issues that will be involved in a publishing contract. All of this takes time (and all of this is why authors get agents who, presumably, know this stuff).

2. Take a Positive Approach. Too many people seem to have learned all their negotiation strategies from watching television dramas -- the two high-powered lawyers point fingers, pound the table, make demands, and generally act like jerks. That's not an approach that's going to work very often in publishing. From my point of view, you have to develop a relationship with the person you're going to negotiate with. That way there's a sense of trust on both sides. You really want to establish some rapport with the person you're negotiating with, so that you both keep in mind the big picture of making this a successful book. Think of it this way: would you rather buy insurance from a trusted friend who happens to sell insurance, or from some stranger who shows up at your door? All of us prefer doing business with people we know. So approach your contract negotiation in a spirit of cooperation, rather than a spirit of confrontation.

3. Think Win/Win. The publishing of books is a business, so put away all your thoughts about just being helpful or friendly, and approach this as strictly business. Believe me, the publisher will take this approach. The goal isn't just to "win," but to help both sides feel as if they're winning. The publisher needs to be able to sell the book at a profit. The author needs to be able to make a living. From the start of your discussions, let both sides be thinking of winning, of doing well, of making this project succeed. Again, television dramas have a tendency to make it seem as though one side must win and the other must lose. In the real world, that doesn't work. I want every publisher I deal with to be successful. I want them to make money, to sell lots of books, and to want to work with me on other projects. So as you're putting your plan together, don't just focus on "how can I get this deal to my advantage?", but think of "how I can help the publisher succeed?" If both of you come out of this negotiation feeling good, you've set yourself up for a healthy long-term relationship.

More on this topic tomorrow... but feel free to ask questions about negotiations. 

 

And the winner of the "My Book Therapy" is...

A Guest Post from Rachel Hauck of My Book Therapy

 Hey everyone. I’m back with My Book Therapy Live. Thanks to all who commented on the blog for a chance to win.

I picked Amy Simpson because not only did she leave a funny comment, but several of you voted for her to win, too.

Amy shows great promise as a writer and many of the craft points I highlight in her piece are craft points I see in almost every book therapy I do. In fact, I learned from doing this therapy myself.

Leave a comment if you have a question or a thought to add. Amy, I applaud your work and your bravery to be the live therapy guinea pig. Also, for your willingness to learn!

Thanks to Chip, Sandra and Amanda for lending us this cyber space.

Rachel

 

 And here is the winning entry, complete with Rachel's notes...

 

Log line: The only thing more dangerous than the man bent on taking her life, is

the risk of living and losing her heart to her sworn enemy.

I like this. It’s a bit awkward. And it kind of sounds like she’s going to fall in love with the man bent on taking her life.

So, maybe…

The only thing more dangerous for HEROINE than the man determined to take her life is falling in love with a man who might lose his.

Something like that. Gives a hint of the story problem and question, gives a window onto the journey, raises questions. Indicates a romantic suspense. Nice!

 

 

 

Chapter 1

            “I’m all in.” Finn Carson shoved the heaping stack of poker chips to the center of the table, challenging anyone to cross him. The pocket aces in his possession were just about a sure thing, considering Ryker and Jones couldn’t bluff to save their lives and Wally, well, he could lift a ton, but he sure couldn’t spell it.  LOL.

            The past few months had been pretty uneventful. Kirkwood, the quaint suburb in West St. Louis County, was one of the few towns yet to be hit by the “5-Alarm Arsonist.”

            “Jeeze, ß Believe it or not, any time of Jeeze or Sheez might not pass in CBA. It’s a derivative of “Jesus.” Finn, why do you always have to push it to the limit?” Jones threw down his cards. “I hate poker.”

            Finn couldn’t help but laugh. Okay, I like this. I get the feeling we’re watching firefighters, but I’m not sure. We need a bit more story world. Where are we? What time of day. Sights? Sounds? Clinking of the poker chips? A cold fluorescent light overhead. “All right, any takers?” Poker always provided a nice distraction. And of course, winning didn’t hurt matters either.

Teaching point: Instead of saying “Finn couldn’t help but laugh,” show is the action of scraping the chips across the table, adding to his pile. Let us see his actions, see his winnings. We can feel and see that he’s smiling because he’s winning.

Dialog point: What’s Finn’s response to his co-worker/friend? “All right, any takers?” is a good line, but said too soon. Jones threw down his cards and said he hated poker. A good response for Finn might be:

“No you don’t, Jones, you just hate losing.”

“Especially to you.”

“All right, any takers? Carter, what about you? Do you have more guts than Jones?”

This rounds out the feel of the room and lets us get a bit more of Finn’s character and personality. Don’t cut us off too soon. Add some action and senses and you have a good opening.

Ryker folded and all eyes zoned in on a bewildered Wally.

            “I, uh . . . I guess I’ll . . . call?”

            Finn slapped his cards down with satisfaction, ready to rake in the spoils.

            “Aww, you win. I just got these five and seven of hearts.” Wally shook his head.

            Finn’s smile faded in disbelief. “Are you kidding me? You have a flush.”

            “I do?” His dopey expression morphed into something akin to enlightenment. “Does this mean I won’t be on bathroom duty for once?”

            Finn rolled his eyes. There was no money on the line, but he still hated to lose. And very seldom did. 

Teaching point: Again, give us action. Eye rolling doesn’t show us any of his character or emotions. Show us he hates losing by pushing away from the table and uttering a “low hot word.”

Also, by now, we need to get a bit of Finn’s internal struggle. Hint at his fear and lie. Can he be a bit more on edge? He really wants to win. Needs to win. Not because he wants off of bathroom duty but because something underneath is broiling and winning would prove he’s… not such a loser? Or wimp? Or brute? Or something…

What’s going on beneath the surface with him? Great that we are seeing his “surface” world – playing poker with fellow FF but he also needs to be struggling beneath the surface.

            The ribbing and heckling commenced as the guys scrawled “J.P. Wallace” on the wall, knocking Finn’s long standing streak off the record board.

            “All right guys, I’m out. I think I’m gonna go get some shut eye. See you losers later.” Finn climbed the stairs to the room he shared with Ryker, chuckling at the insults following his retreat.

            After turning out the lights, he stared into the consuming darkness, praying that a dreamless sleep would come. Most nights, he’d get an hour or two before the nightmares kicked in. Then he’d spend the remainder of the night waking at thirty minute intervals in a cold sweat. Finn was a grown man, he shouldn’t be afraid of sleep. But he was. Fear of the terrors to come strangled his even breaths as he settled in for slumber.

Good. We see something bothering him. But instead of delivering it here in one graph, weave it into his emotions.

Let’s flip this. If he’s nervous to go to sleep, having him staying up, calling for another poker game, trying to get the guys to stay up later and later to play poker. Or watch a movie. Or work out. The Captain can ask, “You okay?”

“Yea, sure, just hate losing. I’d rather clean Ryker’s dirty dishes than clean bathrooms.”

            He hadn’t told the captain, but the lack of sleep was starting to affect his performance, a shadow of weariness had become his constant companion. Doubt and fear wormed through the cracks in his armor, taunting him for his weakness. The only person who knew about his insomnia and night terrors was Ryker. And Finn wanted to keep it that way. He didn’t need the guys badgering or second guessing him. He was doing enough of that all by himself.

Guilt pricked Finn’s conscience, he squeezed his eyes shut and prayed that no one else would lose their life because of him.

Great, but we still don’t know he’s a fire fighter for sure. A bit more of his world. One or two lines.

* * *

            The blaring alarm jolted Finn upright, balmy sweat glued the sheets to his legs as he struggled to disentangle his feet. ß Oo, I can see that. Good. 

Moving auto-pilot, he darted out of his room, wrapped himself around the pole and descended to the garage. ß Do they call it a garage? Isn’t it a bay?

Fighting back the panicked rhythm in his chest, he stepped into his boots and pulled on his Turnout gear, vaulting up to his spot on the truck.

            In the blur of a few moments the fire truck left the safety of the Kirkwood Fire Station and found its way to an infernal blaze consuming a small craftsman home.

Actually, I think this scene is your opening scene. I love jumping into the action like this. All the detail of the above scene can be woven into this scene. Because all we need to know is he’s struggling with nightmares. You could write something like, “his nightmare became reality at the sound of an alarm.”

“Finn shook his head, drew a long hard breath, desperate to free himself from the feeling of dying in his sleep. This was real life. He had to focus or die for real.” Something like that….

            Even after seven years as a firefighter, Finn knew he would never get used to seeing someone’s home burn to the ground. As he watched ß Why? I like the hint of his heart here, but why does a house burning down bother him so deeply? the flames leap into the sky, fear paralyzed him. It was the same feeling that kept him sidelined, working the hose for the past four months. It wasn’t where he belonged, yet he couldn’t find his way back. His courage had been stripped from him and his fear held him hostage. ß Love this. A hint of his fear and problem, of his lie and if this is our first scene, you’re hitting it by the end of the first page! Excellent.

            As orders were barked to exceed the sound of the roaring flames, Finn trekked into position. Then, like a cry in the night, something tugged at him. Something beyond the realm of reason wove through the chaos and pierced his heart with unwavering resolve.

An undeniable force set his legs in motion. His heart stuttered in his chest, his skin tasting the flames even from a distance. But he couldn’t turn back, even as every fiber of his being begged him to retreat. Before he could change his mind, he radioed the chief, and entered the house.

Lord, guide my steps. ß This is okay, but not great here. His adrenaline is flowing, his heart his pumping, he’s engulfed in fear, I’m not sure he’d form a full prayer here.

Also, we need a lot more drama before he goes into the house. He needs to be on the hose, doing his job and then something happens, something big and now he’s faced with his big fear. Being called on to go in. He’d not want to go. He’d resist. We need a confrontation – quick one – with his Captain – telling him to “do your job.” Then we see him go in, feel his fear, wondering what is going on with this guy.

You might have some dialog with the Captain, “Finn, I need you. Get a hold of yourself. The bla-bla fire was six months ago. Now go.”

So we get more of a hint of what’s going on with our hero.

Another thought is to start in the heroine’s point of view. Most women are readers and sometimes connecting with the heroine first is best. Plus, you log line is Her story. Not His.

Nice writing! Good set up. Interesting opening. A frightened firefighter? We instantly feel for him. Good job!!!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Thursdays with Amanda: What I'm Looking For

Amanda Luedeke is a literary agent with MacGregor Literary. She posts about growing your author platform every Thursday. You can follow her on Twitter @amandaluedeke or join her Facebook group to stay current with her wheelings and dealings as an agent.

I'm in New York right now, visiting with publishers and pitching books, and though I had every intention of continuing my "Building an Author Platform" series, it just doesn't look like that's going to happen this week. So sorry about that. I know that some of you come here specifically for those posts and I hate to let you down.

So, to make up for the lack of a post this week, I thought I'd share a list of projects that I'm looking for. I'm hoping this is a satisfactory trade. :)

Right now, I'm primarily looking for authors who have published with a traditional house. However, if you're an unpublished author, don't lose heart. The best thing to do there is to try and meet me at a conference (I'm attending roughly 12 this year, and you can find the list on the info tab of my Facebook page). If I like you and I like your book, I'm much more willing to try and make room for you.

Here's what I'm currently acquring:

Adult Fantasy

Adult Urban Fantasy (especially geared to women)

Adult Paranormal Romance

Adult Science Fiction

Any of the "weird" genres, like Steampunk, Dystopian, Horror, etc.

African American Romance

Young Adult Fiction (open to just about anything)

Nonfiction projects from authors with great platforms

Nonfiction for the 20 and 30-something crowd

 

Have a genre in mind, but you're not seeing it on the list? Leave a comment below and I'll let you know whether it would be a fit.

If your novel is "not quite there..."

Okay, so you’ve hit a wall with your novel. Perhaps the creativity you once enjoyed lies dormant. Maybe you feel as if you’ve written yourself into a corner and don’t know how to get out. Your story isn’t flowing like it should. You’re tired. You feel a bit at odds with the project you once couldn’t wait to sit down to. But you still have faith in the vision you developed so long ago. Maybe you know your novel isn’t ready for submission but you don’t exactly know why. A host of reasons explain why writers  experience a  need for support, each one unique to the writer.

Luminary was formed by novelist Lisa Samson for writers who find themselves right where you are. Instead of traditional critique, Lisa wants to help you succeed as a novelist. Luminary isn’t simply about revealing the weaknesses in your manuscript. It’s about highlighting your strengths as well and helping you write with those in mind.

After writing for two decades as well as enjoying work in visual arts, Lisa possesses an intuitive understanding of the creative process. She understands people express themselves best when they are true to who they are and aware of how their life journey affects their work. Lisa provides thoughtful support based on each individual’s style of creativity and vision. In other words, Lisa wants to help you develop your own unique voice, not become a version of someone else.

Lisa brings experience with thirty books, three Christy Awards, and multiple starred reviews from Publisher’s Weekly Magazine. Christianity Today named her novel, Quaker Summer, one of the best novels for 2008. That same novel was Women of Faith’s novel of the year, and seemed to win named by reviewers everywhere as one of the best books in print that year. A host of positive reviews and respect from her peers assures you that Lisa is able to produce quality fiction and can help you do the same. (I was a fan of Lisa's writing long before I became her agent.)

If you're interested, Luminary offers support in two levels.

Story Support:  Lisa will read thirty pages of your manuscript as well as the detailed synopsis you will provide. She’ll help you get your book off to the start it deserves with insights into character development and overall story direction. You’ll receive a thoughtful write-up as well as a brainstorming phone call.  $350.00

Manuscript Development: With your submission of 100 pages and a detailed synopsis, Lisa will offer story support, more comprehensive help with character development and help with the more technical aspects of writing. You’ll receive your manuscript back with more detailed comments and suggestions as well as a phone call to answer any questions you might have. $700.00

To see if you and Lisa are a good fit, email her at [email protected] or check out her website: http://luminarycreative.blogspot.com/ . Just thought you should know.

By the way, Rob Eager over at Wildfire Marketing is offering his "Bestseller Website Tutorial" for authors. This resource is designed to help authors in need of some website help, and he has distinctly different versions for fiction and non-fiction. You can get the details at: http://www.startawildfire.com/websitetutorial.html -- and Rob is offering a $5.00 discount for anyone who mentions this blog!

In other news, the people who run the ACFW Conference (which is without question the best CBA fiction gathering for authors) are making the entire 2011 convention available on MP3s for just $99. And they include everything -- the workshops, the continuing education sessions, even the classes that had prerequisites to join. Seems like a pretty good deal, but I understand it's just for the month of March. Stop by their website to order.

Oh, and if you're a Left Coast author, I notice there's a new writing conference taking place this summer. Corban University in Salem, Oregon, is offering a brand new writer's conference. You can find out everything you need at http://www.corban.edu/news/2011-12/0223WritersConference.html,http://www.corban.edu/wordworks/writers-conference.html

One last note: Alice Crider, the longtime editor at Waterbrook/Random House (and my former assistant), has also started working on proposals from writers that have potential but are “not quite there yet.” If you're an author who needs some assistance, Alice can help you get your project where it needs to be. Check her out at www.alicecrider.com  

Happy writing!

 

 

Conspirators R Us

 

If you're a regular reader of my blog, you doubtless understand this blog is, at heart, a "publishing journalism" site. Things happen in the publishing industry, and I talk about them. There are lessons for writers to learn, and I share them. Other people have opinions, and I let them offer their thoughts. That's why I found it interesting that a publisher is threatening to sue me. 

 

You might have heard the news that Wine Press Publishing, a vanity press in the state of Washington, is in a battle with the former owner of the company, a woman named Athena Dean. You can google the topic to get all the details, which is how I found out about it. The argument basically comes down to the former owner claiming she was treated badly by a group she believes is, more or less, a fundamentalist church that has taken over the company. The current situation is an interesting study in business ethics and church governance and arcane theology, but you'd have to go somewhere else to find the details, since I've never blogged about it before. I haven't said anything about it on my corporate website, either. Nor have I written about it for any other magazine, e-zine, or journal. I could have -- I mean, I'm a trained journalist, talking about the publishing industry, and the allegation that a big company that's very involved in Christian publishing has acted unfairly toward employees or tried to intimidate people is news. But I didn't. Not because I was afraid to (and yes, I've heard a couple people warn that Wine Press has used lawyers and intimidation tactics on others in the past), but because I wanted to wait and see what the facts brought out. I don't have a dog in this hunt -- but I'm very interested in the hunt itself and the story surrounding it. 

 

My sole reference to this particular cat-fight is a comment I left on a Facebook page. That's right -- I once read an article and left a comment on the piece I saw, since I found it shocking. Here's what I wrote upon reading about the allegations: "Holy cow. I mean... WOW! This will blow the socks off of anyone who's been involved in CBA publishing in recent years. Wow..." 

 

That's the sum total of my verbiage so far on the topic. Certainly if you've read some of the things that have been alleged, you were probably shocked as well. But, like me, you probably refrained from taking sides and writing attack pieces. And that's why I thought it was interesting when I opened my mail last week and found an official letter from the Wine Press attorney, accusing me of being "a co-conspirator" with some people to interfere with their business. Really. Me, a co-conspirator. 

 

As evidence of the conspiracy, they sent me copies of confidentiality agreements signed by former employees Cindy Scinto (a person I've never met, and never spoken to), Amber Payne (a person I've never met, never spoken to, and never even heard of), and Athena Dean (who I've met at several writing conferences, always when she was representing Wine Press). Yes -- these are my alleged co-conspirators... three people I don't know, two of whom I've never actually spoken to. The letter also noted that my activity was "illegal and shameful, and your liability for it is great, and growing by the day," and the pages offered various Bible verses to show me how godly their argument was. It failed to explain which part of my Facebook comment was illegal, or what was shameful about making a comment, or how exactly I'd be liable, but it did note that I was to "disavow all support and agreement with the conspiracy in order to avoid further liability." I particularly like that part -- I'm thinking this is sort of like being on the old "Mission Impossible" team -- where you don't know the other people, but, like Mr Phelps, you had to disavow any knowledge of your actions. Anyway, the letter demanded I send proof of my actions to the lawyer's office within ten days, and ended with the dire warning, "Failure to do so can and will result in full prosecution of you... to the full extent of the law." Uh huh. 

 

I have a couple thoughts I'll share... First, the lawyer really needs to brush up on his First Amendment reading. For all the scary language, I'm fairly certain freedom of the press still exists in this country, so unless I slander someone or intend actual malice in a review, I'm not sure I can actually be charged with a crime. I mean, I understand if the people running Wine Press are embarrassed about the current situation getting talked about negatively in public (former employees complaining publicly, the person who started the company taking accusations to local law enforcement, etc), but I'm pretty confident the limited number of CBA news outlets, such as this blog, are still allowed to report on the story. 

 

Second, I'm no lawyer, but it would appear to me there has to be some sort of collusion (or at least a conversation) for there to be a conspiracy. For that matter, I'm surprised they didn't list Carla Williams as a conspirator -- she's the only person at Wine Press I really know. (But her being married to the guy behind all of this probaby kept them from going after her as well.) Of course, I'd love to hear what law I broke. Maybe in the follow-up letter, the people at Wine Press can explain it to me, and include some more Old Testament verses to shore up their claims. 

 

Third, the threat of criminal prosecution came... from their lawyer? Unless Wine Press has now been put in charge of the District Attorney's office, I don't think they can actually prosecute me. I don't know -- maybe I need to watch some more reruns of Law & Order, so I can brush up on my legal stuff. I know the folks at Wine Press sued an author for criticizing them (and lost), but perhaps they learned something when they got smacked down by that judge.

 

Fourth, it seems like it would be completely inappropriate to send out signed copies of someone else's confidentiality agreement. I mean, isn't that why you have a confidentiality agreement? So you can keep it, you know, "confidential"? (The attorney I spoke to told me that's pretty much all I need to recognize their lawyer's level of professional competence.)

 

And fifth, the threats in the letter they sent me would appear to support what I've heard -- that Wine Press likes to try and intimidate people in order to get their way. 

Of course, most of the people behind Wine Press are all part of a church -- the Sound Doctrine church, which I know some online reports have branded a cult. They are perhaps best known for their belief in "hating for Jesus" -- a concept I SWEAR I'm not making up. Anyway, they were nice enough to include some Scripture verses in the packet they sent me, to try and dress this up as a "Christian" conversation. (I'm pretty sure I could pull out some verses from Corinthians about not threatening to take other believers to court, but that's beside the point.) One verse they cite is this: "Gossip separates close friends." Which was good to read, considering this came from the company that set up THIS website:  http://hardtruth.sdoctrine.org/realfacts/ which appears to me to be nothing more than a hatchet job on the woman they're now fighting with, Athena Dean. So apparently SOME gossip is okay (for example, I notice they make a point of revealing Athena has been divorced twice -- a fact I'm not sure is germane to the current conversation).

[Editorial Note: I noticed the Sound Doctrine Church people have tweaked this website, apparently trying to soften some of the language or steer readers to other pages. My apologies if you click on it and it now leads to a "Chip MacGregor is the Antichrist" page. You never know with these folks.]

 

Anyway, I really wanted to write to them and explain that (a) I'm not part of a conspiracy, and (b) I don't scare easily, and (c) up until they acted like jerks and inspired me, I'd never actually written about the situation, but only read about it online, in stories available to anyone with an internet connection and a Facebook account. Instead, I think I'll write and offer them some of my own biblical advice: "Be fruitful and multiply." Except I may not use those words...